I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize