how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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