I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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