There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
