For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
