If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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