i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
