I'm gonna have a badass scar
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
