3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize