can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize