just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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