The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
