Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
