I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
