I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We are two peas in an std pod
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I just sharted jello shots
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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