WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
