her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
