I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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