I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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