Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
