Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
