Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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