You're so nebulous sometimes
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
