none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i will never coherently bang her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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