I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Randomize
