Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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