Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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