Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
