before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
