i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
