Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
