Kiss
Puke
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
