You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
