When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
