everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Are we still banned from the library?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
