How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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