I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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