I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I want to be your penis for a week.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
