So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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