1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
