ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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