Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize