It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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