the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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