Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
