You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
