this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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