Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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