Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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