Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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