Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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