Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
