Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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