hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize