Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
