I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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