i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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