Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
