That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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