brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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