I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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