So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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