I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
As shirtless as possible
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
