You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
