Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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